Sign
Your Own Permission Slip
by
Claudette Rowley
Growing up, permission slips were a big part of school
life - essential to participating in special projects,
field trips, or class trips out of state. For me to
take part in any adventure outside of the classroom,
my mother or father had to sign the slip. Now, as an
adult, I can sign my own permission slip. In fact, I
don't even need one! Yet I realize how often I don't
give myself permission to be who I want to be or do
what I want to do.
How many times have you decided that you wanted something,
and then denied yourself permission to have it or even
ask for it?
In my experience, here are the top ten beliefs that
cause people to deny themselves permission to want what
they want:
- I can't afford it.
- I don't deserve it.
- What will other people think? Someone might not
like it.
- "In my family, we don't desire things like
that. My parents had the same sofa for twenty years.
Why should I be any different?"
- What if I get it and decide that I don't like it?
- I might fail.
- I might succeed.
- I can't have THAT (it's too big, too small, too
expensive, too fill-in-the-blank).
- I'll have to step outside of my comfort zone.
- And the essence of all resistance: "I am afraid."
Here's the antidote to these limiting beliefs: YOU
GET TO WANT WHAT YOU WANT. It's that simple.
You get to want what you want without judging it or
measuring its merit or any justification at all.
Here is an example from my own life. Recently, I've
been paying closer attention to what I want and how
quick I sometimes am to deny myself. For instance, I'm
developing some new strategic alliances in my business.
I've noticed how rapidly limiting beliefs, such as,
"Don't even bother to call that person. She won't
return your call." will surface. If I don't stay
conscious and aware, I'm stopped in my tracks. I have
to keep recognizing what I want and giving myself full
permission to have it without judgment.
Here are some steps to get you started:
- Recognize what you want.
- Refrain from judgment.
- Give yourself permission to want what you want.
- Take the action required -- for example, asking,
buying, giving.
- Notice what opportunities open up for you and what
opens up inside of you.
Following these steps may feel uncomfortable; you might
feel fear. That's okay. These are simply signs that
you are moving away from what's been comfortable to
you. You are growing!
Each time you acknowledge what you want, refrain from
judging it and act on it, you enter the flow of life.
Life wants to give you what you want. Our socialization
(see ten limiting beliefs above) tends to complicate
matters and have us believe otherwise. Recognizing what
you want and giving it to yourself is a skill. And like
most new skills, it requires building the "muscle."
The more you work the muscle, the easier it is to move.
In the end, you are the only one who can sign your
own permission slip. As 2003 draws to a close, what's
the permission slip you want to sign?
About the Author:
Claudette Rowley, MSW, CPPC is an intuitive coach and
author. Claudette is an expert in helping entrepreneurs
and career changers identify their true purpose and
calling in life, and find the courage to pursue it.
She guides her clients through her "Vision to Voice"
process which helps them to design personal and professional
lives that reflect who they are, and to create success
on their own terms.
Claudette is the co-author of the book A Guide to Getting
It: A Clear, Compelling Vision, and produces the monthly
ezine Insights for the Savvy. She is also a qualified
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator facilitator. She is known
for her intuitive style, her ability to get to the heart
of a matter, and her passion for challenging people
to move out of their comfort zones.
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